Couples counselling

Doing life with a partner can range from bliss to heartache, sometimes all in the one day!

No couple is immune to hitting a wall. Understanding that this wall usually did not pop up overnight and accepting it may take time and expertise to dismantle and rebuild is critical.

If you are both committed to repair, then couple’s counselling, using research validated practices is for you. I use a number of different sources of expertise, including John and Julie Gottman (The Gottman Method) , Relational Life Therapy ( Terry Real), Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy developed by Sue Johnson and Solution focused Couple’s Therapy - Elliot Connie.

When is it the right time to come for Couple counselling?

The short answer is the sooner the better. There are considerations that will help you decide if you are ready.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do we both feel physically safe in this relationship?
Do we both want to work on improving our relationship?
Is there still room for hope in our hearts?
Are we prepared to make room to prioritise our relationship at this point in time, to do the work required?
Do either of us have a known mental health condition or substance addiction that is not being managed? If this is the case, it is likely I will encourage some individual input away from the couples sessions and this may need to commence prior to considering sessions as a couple. Learning how to better support your partner if these exist can be incorporated in our counselling.
Is there an active external intimate relationship (emotional and/ or physical) that is not agreed on by both of you, or causing intimacy barriers? If there is, it may be more appropriate to seek individual counselling initially.
Has one of you been an individual client for more than three sessions with me in the past? This usually means the other person needs to be agreeable to move to couple counselling.
If you have children, you will need to arrange someone to care for them while you are at sessions as I want you to be able to focus! If you are breast feeding a baby under 8 months, please speak to me about bringing the child if this is a less stressful option.
Age is no barrier.

I you would like to discuss about your situation, a free confidential 15 minute chat is available, book using the button on the front page.

How does it work?

My first priority is to ensure the safety of both of you and to be confident you are committed to the process.

The initial assessment phase is as follows:

A couple’s session (90 min) This session, will help determine if couple’s work is the best way forward, or another form of help is most appropriate. If couple’s work is appropriate, we progress to…
Individual sessions for each person (45- 60min)
Ongoing couple’s sessions of 1hr to 1.5 hr duration.

For cost, please refer to my Fees Tab.

Once this assessment phase is completed, therapy tailored to your relationship begins.

Sessions have both an emotional and a practical approach, so be prepared to work! You will receive relationship tools and training that will improve your skills and emotional connection for a stronger, healthier relationship.

How many sessions will we need?

Following the assessment phase, consider four- six sessions as a bare minimum and ideally a commitment to at least fortnightly sessions. After the initial three sessions, online is an option.

The Gottman Relationship Checklist.

This is an add -on process and cost which spells out very clearly the areas you need to focus on. At times I will recommend this to couples if this is not clear in our initial session. .

The Checkup is a powerful online assessment that automatically scores a couple’s strengths and challenges.You can feel confident in your results. Drs. John and Julie Gottman created this research-based assessment in collaboration with The Gottman Institute to help couples build a personalised treatment plan with their therapist.

This clinical tool consists of 337 questions about friendship, intimacy, how well you know your partner, how you manage emotions and conflict, how you share your values and goals, and what gives meaning to your lives. There are additional questions about parenting, housework, finances, trust, and individual areas of concern. The questionnaire is completely confidential and your counsellor will be the only person to see your responses. Completing this takes each person 20- 30 minutes.

As an online assessment , this can be completed at any time and ideally at the beginning of the counselling process. Upon completion, it automatically provides valuable information by pinpointing specific strengths and challenges in your relationship, while also suggesting actionable, research-based recommendations for therapy.

How it works:

1. Accept your invitation

Your counsellor will send each of you a separate email inviting you to The Enhanced Gottman Relationship Checkup. When you have both completed your individual questionnaires, your therapist will be notified and will be able to securely log in to review your scores and the analysis of your relationship. Your therapist will be able to discuss the results with you and suggest a treatment plan for improving and strengthening your relationship.

Pre- marriage Coaching.

Did you know that Australian couples typically spend over $40,000 on the BIG DAY?

While the movies indicate you are both madly in love, it’s not uncommon to have some anxieties around setting up for what you hope is a life long commitment. It sounds like good sense, then, to consider spending a small fraction of your preparation costs on a wonderful program called Prepare Enrich. This program takes stock of your attitudes towards common life issues, your family background and how this might influence your relationship in the future. These sessions provide you with opportunity to express concerns in a safe facilitated environment with a counsellor.

Completion of an online Prepare Enrich assessment each and 3 x 1 hour pre- marriage couples' sessions using this well-validated program is available for a cost of $450, with an option for additional sessions.